Dating has changed a lot over the years and new trend has emerged and not for the better: Ghosting. Ghosting isn’t coming to a mutual understanding the conversation or relationship has fizzled out, it’s deliberating not responding to a potential date without explanation. At any point in dating, whether you’ve went on actual date or are still just talking, ghosting is a common, but disrespectful phenomenon.
I’m completely fine with starting a conversation and once the other person gets to know me a little better, he decides that he’s not interested. In fact, I’ve come to expect it. However, I am not fine with ghosting. No one should be.
Many people find potential dates online or through phone apps, so most conversations are done via texting. It’s so easy to let the other person know you don’t want to date them, so why disappear completely?
Case in point, I was talking to a guy for a few days, I thought things were going well, so I asked if he wanted to go out. No response. He’s a smart guy so I never thought that he would ghost me. I guess he forgot we were friends on Facebook because he then posted asking for Halloween costume ideas. The following ensued:
Confession: I am terrible at dating. Once I went on a date with a guy who was hilarious. I was probably laughing the entire time. Afterwards, he sent me a message saying he was moving to Florida to play tennis so there wouldn’t be a second date. Cool, no big deal, thank you for letting me know, however true or untrue that may be.
I will admit to my fair share of disappearing in the middle of conversations and not giving a second thought about looking back. Online dating is nothing if not frustrating. I’ve tried more dating sites than I would care to admit. I’ve come to the conclusion that if there is someone out there for me, he’s not on any of those sites. Don’t even get me started on trying to find decent guys who also don’t want children. That’s a whole nother challenge in itself.
Dating should be fun, not stressful.
Since being ghosted, I have decided I will take a break from the impersonal world of online dating. Perhaps I’ll go out and meet someone in the real world. That seems like a good challenge for this introvert who only goes to work and the farmer’s market. (Translation: Next to impossible.)
Ghosting is a popular phenomenon and it’s so much easier to ghost someone than to tell them you’re not interested. It takes a higher level of maturity and respect to end a relationship or potential relationship by giving the other person a reason rather than disappearing without any accountability.