My mom and I were at a wine tasting party hosted by her best friend. Most of the women were around my mom’s age and all but me had children. They asked my mom if she had any grandchildren. My mom told them she had no grandkids. The response is usually always the same. “Well, maybe someday she’ll have kids.” “No,’ my mom says, “There are just some things you know.”
My mom supports me and has never once made me feel like I was less or any other negative way because I don’t like or want children.
How I respond
When people I meet in public ask me if I have kids and I say no, I don’t like or want them, the response is rarely supportive. “You say that now,” is one of the responses that seem to be on repeat. I’m nearly 30. How long do I have to keep saying it before they think I will change my mind? I know I won’t and I am happy with that.
Sometimes I feel like words aren’t enough when it comes to the responses I and many other women try to respond with when others find out we are childfree and have a problem with it or try to tell us we will change our mind. Like saying, “No, I won’t,” isn’t enough for them. I have gotten used to it and I am very secure in my decision and others can think what they want, it’s okay with me. It’s perfectly okay for another woman to want children, so please be okay with me not wanting them.
I don’t like children
There are some people who choose to be childfree, but still like them. I am not one of those people. I won’t sugarcoat it, I have an aversion children. I don’t mind good children who behave and listen to their parents, but I don’t want to interact with them. I don’t enjoy babies and most children make me uncomfortable. Children are tedious and they carry germs and are generally sticky. I am not trying to entertain that at all. Children aren’t for me and that is okay.
Animal welfare is my passion
I have four cats who are the loves of my life. I have a cat rescue, a cat hospice, and a dog rescue where I volunteer that fulfills a need in me that could never be met if I had children. Call me a crazy cat lady, call me a spinster, but I will never change my decision to not have children.
Animal welfare is in my blood, being a mother to a human child is not. Having a child would severely impact my ability to take care of the cats. I am so happy and fulfilled devoting my life and my money to my cats and the rescues I volunteer with. My cats come first and I have some amazing plans to take part in a new spay and neuter initiative that should be coming to fruition very soon.